Why Carnivores are Superior, (Morally and all)

My acting coach told us all, with great authority, that "it has been proven that plants FEEL AND EXPRESS PAIN...." (What this had to do with acting was unclear.)

So last night, I thought I heard screaming and realized it was the terrified carrots, a Holocaust in my salad bowl! With the lugubrious & mournful lettuce sadly wilting at the mutilation. Oh, the murder and carnage in my very bowl!

But you see, that is why I love meat so much, AND why it is morally superior to be a carnivore! It is so much fairer! Animals can flee from us, or fight back and bite or kill us, but NOT SO the poor immobilized defenseless plants, (I'm not counting artichokes or those other things that prick your fingers, but then again, maybe they are the plant warriors?)

Well then, so, what can I eat? If all I can eat are plants that feel and talk to each other, yet I find some on the ground, what am I to think? How do I know that those fruits and vegetables aren't the depressed suicidal plants who jumped, OR worse, the sociopaths that were voted off the vine or tree - eating THEM cannot be healthy for us!

How do we know whether in some "plant faiths" maybe there are heroically suicidal plants, who knowingly expose themselves to pesticides, allowing themselves to be pulled and eaten by US as their form of attack. Yes, call them terrorists if you will. I'm just saying to be alert...you never know. (But my acting coach does.)